How to cross the road in Egypt
- Look both ways. In disbelief.
- Look to see if there are any Egyptians nearby crossing the road. If there are, follow them unless they're standing in the road, in which case their route across the road may have a path wide enough for one person only.
- Scan the cars coming towards you in the first. Is there a distance of at least 2 car lengths between two of the cars? NO? How about one? There's your space.
- Wait until the first car has passed, then casually walk through the gap between the two cars, pretending that a huge car is not hurtling toward you. If you run, you will only encourage them to drive faster. Also, you have another lane to cross after this, so if you run you might overrun the middle of the road and get run over by the second lane of cars.
- Okay, you are now between two lanes of cars, who will run smoothly around you. Try not to panic. Look for a space as in step 3. When it appears, you have two options: a) casually walk across again, looking smooth, cool and Egyptian; or b) run for it, looking for all the world like a terrified foreigner.
- I always choose b.